The World According to Tosha

Something you probably shouldn't read unless you want intensive therapy in your future

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Location: Michigan, United States

Just a lil ole redhead making the best of her world

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Here is my story I submited to the Long Writer's Group. Its a little shorter than I would normally write since there was a limit.. but.. it might better since it is that way!!

The Wounded Dream

Afton walked down a dark, empty alley. It was drab with grey bricks. Not the sort of place Afton liked to hang out. There was a blood red door that seemed to glow, standing out against the grey brick wall. The bump of loud music was coming from behind the door. Afton opened it to look inside.

There was a large party going on. People danced and moved about, having drinks and laughs. Afton walked in and moved towards the punch bowl just as some people ran by. She thought one had looked familiar so she ran after them. She hollered, but they could not hear her above the noise. They reached the red door and ran through. Afton followed them, but the dark alley was no longer there. Now they where standing by an open street. The party could still be heard on the other side of the same strange red door behind her. Afton looked at their faces, but she didn’t know who they where. They were a couple of street thugs who looked frightened. She heard the sound of an engine and turned just as the two thugs did.

A dark car was driving down the street at an astonishing speed. The two thugs ran and darted around a corner. Afton stood and watched with dream-like stupidity as the car drew closer. A tinted window rolled down and a hand came out holding a gun. It shot wildly at the building, Afton, and the disappearing thugs. Afton felt something go through her chest. There was no pain; just a feeling like something was missing. She looked down at a wound, but saw no blood. Numbly she turned around and walked back through the red door. The party was still in full motion.

Afton started walking around; going up to random people, showing them that she had been shot. No one noticed her. After the third or fourth person Afton saw someone she recognized in the crowd. It was her mother, who was dancing with younger man. She walked up to her mom and started hollering at her, telling her that she had been shot. Afton was starting to feel as if she would die if she didn’t get help soon. Her mom looked at her and smiled, but didn’t really understand what Afton was saying. Mom was caught up in her dance and the party. She didn’t seem to realize that her daughter had been shot, no matter what Afton tried to do. The feeling of hollowness wore at Afton; her mother’s insensitivity making it worse.

Afton soon realized that she was too late. Her wound had been left open for to long, there was nothing no one could do for her now. She walked away from her mom, with a feeling of hopelessness washing over her. She felt lost and desolate. She didn’t notice the party anymore. She mindlessly shuffled her way through the crowd not knowing what to do with her self. She didn’t want to die but she was going to, right here, tonight.
Just as Afton was trying to decide where she was going wait out her death, her alarm went off. She woke up, but it took her a few moments to pull out of the dream. She laid in bed and felt her chest. There was no wound, but still Afton felt wounded inside. Even though she wasn’t dieing, the dream hung onto her like a dark shadow.

Monday, December 19, 2005

Well, no more baby blues... I'm not pregnant. Had my period.. it was a good one and the last preg. test that I took said nego too. So I can drink, smoke, and generally kill myself in my usual fashion! HAHA. Actually I don't really drink that often and I rarely smoke.. so it will be a very slow processes. That is fine though... I will hopefully be in Cali sometime next summer for IT school (Information Tech. in the CG). I am excited for that.

I also got a letter today from the Long Ridge Writer's Group saying that they thought I had the potential to write for publication! They of course have never read my blogs.. HAHA. I will have to post the story that I sent them on this blog tomorrow at work. They even specifically said in their letter that they where all impressed by that submission (I had to write a few different things for them). I put some time into it (a few hours anyhow) so I was glad. Of course rather or not they tell all their perspective stories that they liked their entry... I don't know.

My other happy news... My boyfriend will be visiting me for New Years (he had to cancel plans with his parents) . It will be a year since we first hooked up... though pretty unoffically. It took us a few months to decide it would be a relationship. But, it all started with him visiting me for some vacation and ....*ahem* fun times last New Years. So, it will make this New Years even better! I can't wait to see him again! Oh... and we are going to be a little more careful so we dont' have any more baby scares for a while (I'm sure you all wanted to know that).

So, that is my news for now. I want to write a blog without bitching about work... so I will end it here... cause bitch I could!!

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Ok, I am having "maybe" blues. I maybe be pregnant. I have sore boobs, my stomach is a little sensitive, I eat way to much, and I'm sleepy all the time. But, I haven't gotten that little pink line yet that says, "yes you are! Start saving for college NOW" So.. I won't have any midnight caps, don't want to over exercise or bounce around to much, I have to watch what I eat, periodically check my nipples to see if they still hurt... But its only a maybe! Though I think its better than a 50% maybe.. But still. I need to know! They need to make at home equipment that will tell you 30 minutes after the act in question rather or not you could be pregnant. Or maybe 30 minutes before... A big red light would go off and say, "warning warning... you haven't saved up bail money for this future kid yet... proceed with caution!" That kind of stuff would be very useful!

So, I will sit at home, when I'm not sleeping, and wonder. I will apologize to my almost full bottle of Bacardi 8 and let him know he must sit on my fridge safe guarding my rum for a long time. At least he has it better than the Jaeger bottle which is camped out in the freezer.