The World According to Tosha

Something you probably shouldn't read unless you want intensive therapy in your future

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Location: Michigan, United States

Just a lil ole redhead making the best of her world

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Here is my story I submited to the Long Writer's Group. Its a little shorter than I would normally write since there was a limit.. but.. it might better since it is that way!!

The Wounded Dream

Afton walked down a dark, empty alley. It was drab with grey bricks. Not the sort of place Afton liked to hang out. There was a blood red door that seemed to glow, standing out against the grey brick wall. The bump of loud music was coming from behind the door. Afton opened it to look inside.

There was a large party going on. People danced and moved about, having drinks and laughs. Afton walked in and moved towards the punch bowl just as some people ran by. She thought one had looked familiar so she ran after them. She hollered, but they could not hear her above the noise. They reached the red door and ran through. Afton followed them, but the dark alley was no longer there. Now they where standing by an open street. The party could still be heard on the other side of the same strange red door behind her. Afton looked at their faces, but she didn’t know who they where. They were a couple of street thugs who looked frightened. She heard the sound of an engine and turned just as the two thugs did.

A dark car was driving down the street at an astonishing speed. The two thugs ran and darted around a corner. Afton stood and watched with dream-like stupidity as the car drew closer. A tinted window rolled down and a hand came out holding a gun. It shot wildly at the building, Afton, and the disappearing thugs. Afton felt something go through her chest. There was no pain; just a feeling like something was missing. She looked down at a wound, but saw no blood. Numbly she turned around and walked back through the red door. The party was still in full motion.

Afton started walking around; going up to random people, showing them that she had been shot. No one noticed her. After the third or fourth person Afton saw someone she recognized in the crowd. It was her mother, who was dancing with younger man. She walked up to her mom and started hollering at her, telling her that she had been shot. Afton was starting to feel as if she would die if she didn’t get help soon. Her mom looked at her and smiled, but didn’t really understand what Afton was saying. Mom was caught up in her dance and the party. She didn’t seem to realize that her daughter had been shot, no matter what Afton tried to do. The feeling of hollowness wore at Afton; her mother’s insensitivity making it worse.

Afton soon realized that she was too late. Her wound had been left open for to long, there was nothing no one could do for her now. She walked away from her mom, with a feeling of hopelessness washing over her. She felt lost and desolate. She didn’t notice the party anymore. She mindlessly shuffled her way through the crowd not knowing what to do with her self. She didn’t want to die but she was going to, right here, tonight.
Just as Afton was trying to decide where she was going wait out her death, her alarm went off. She woke up, but it took her a few moments to pull out of the dream. She laid in bed and felt her chest. There was no wound, but still Afton felt wounded inside. Even though she wasn’t dieing, the dream hung onto her like a dark shadow.

Monday, December 19, 2005

Well, no more baby blues... I'm not pregnant. Had my period.. it was a good one and the last preg. test that I took said nego too. So I can drink, smoke, and generally kill myself in my usual fashion! HAHA. Actually I don't really drink that often and I rarely smoke.. so it will be a very slow processes. That is fine though... I will hopefully be in Cali sometime next summer for IT school (Information Tech. in the CG). I am excited for that.

I also got a letter today from the Long Ridge Writer's Group saying that they thought I had the potential to write for publication! They of course have never read my blogs.. HAHA. I will have to post the story that I sent them on this blog tomorrow at work. They even specifically said in their letter that they where all impressed by that submission (I had to write a few different things for them). I put some time into it (a few hours anyhow) so I was glad. Of course rather or not they tell all their perspective stories that they liked their entry... I don't know.

My other happy news... My boyfriend will be visiting me for New Years (he had to cancel plans with his parents) . It will be a year since we first hooked up... though pretty unoffically. It took us a few months to decide it would be a relationship. But, it all started with him visiting me for some vacation and ....*ahem* fun times last New Years. So, it will make this New Years even better! I can't wait to see him again! Oh... and we are going to be a little more careful so we dont' have any more baby scares for a while (I'm sure you all wanted to know that).

So, that is my news for now. I want to write a blog without bitching about work... so I will end it here... cause bitch I could!!

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Ok, I am having "maybe" blues. I maybe be pregnant. I have sore boobs, my stomach is a little sensitive, I eat way to much, and I'm sleepy all the time. But, I haven't gotten that little pink line yet that says, "yes you are! Start saving for college NOW" So.. I won't have any midnight caps, don't want to over exercise or bounce around to much, I have to watch what I eat, periodically check my nipples to see if they still hurt... But its only a maybe! Though I think its better than a 50% maybe.. But still. I need to know! They need to make at home equipment that will tell you 30 minutes after the act in question rather or not you could be pregnant. Or maybe 30 minutes before... A big red light would go off and say, "warning warning... you haven't saved up bail money for this future kid yet... proceed with caution!" That kind of stuff would be very useful!

So, I will sit at home, when I'm not sleeping, and wonder. I will apologize to my almost full bottle of Bacardi 8 and let him know he must sit on my fridge safe guarding my rum for a long time. At least he has it better than the Jaeger bottle which is camped out in the freezer.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Ok, I am back, and I don't see the title box for this blog... guess it will just be a random blog. Which was pretty much what it was going to be anyway.

I am actually pretty happy/hyper right now. Tomorrow night I am going to watch Drew Carey and the Whose Line All-Stars at the casino.. then 2 or 3 hours after that is over my boyfriend will be at my house!! I'm so happy, I havn't seen him in 3 months or so, and it has been way to long. Of course our whole relationship has been long distance, but it doesn't make it any easier. So I will jump for joy and try not to jump on his toes.

The Whose Line thing will be great though. I have watched that show almost religiously since I first saw it on TV many years ago. It still cracks me up, even the repeats. I have downloaded Richard Simmons "moving objects" skit and that thing cracks me up to no end. Nothing like watching Richard trying to kiss Colin... or do other things...

Well.. I am having an ADD moment right now cause my brain is stuck on my BF... so I guess I will cut this short. Its not funny or totally exciting, but hell! I get credit for posting a blog right? I havn't completely forgotten about this thing....

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

I am going to take the time to reflect... reflect upon guard shack duty. Let me tell you, there is a lot of time to reflect on this concept, when your standing guard shack duty. Espcially at a slow base like mine. I stand outside so that if anyone tries to jump the fence or use the exchange without an ID, I can notify someone. Not that many people use the exchange on an average day and I have yet to hear about anyone jumping the fence. So basically I stand inside the guard shack for 4 hours watching birds. Its very boring and makes me want to sleep. We can't sit in there and read a magazine while taking the occasional glance around. We must look alert, just in case. Do they teach us law enforcment so that if someone did try to get hairy we could take them down? No. We call the OOD. The OOD has about the same amount of training we do, they just rank a little higher. There are some people on this base who are qualified to do law enforcment (or techinically, board boats) but not that many. So, I am just outside to look intimidating. I am sure any psycho who see's a 5'4" female lounging around will run the other way.

Anyhow, that is what I did yesterday for four hours. Stood in the guard shack and tried to hold on to my sanity. The real fun part is that my knee was a little .....

continue later, got to work blah..

Friday, October 21, 2005

Well, I am finally done with my class. Now rather or not I actually pass will remain to be seen. I sure hope I do, but I didn't finish all of my assignments.. so don't know. I did do all of my major assignments though. I was up till midnight last night doing homework. My head felt like it was going to explode, which would have been pretty nasty.

My plans for this weekend? NOTHING! YES! It will be a great weekend!

In other news: my orange rat, Antonio, actually jumped on my shoulder last night. He has never done that before. Guess he is figuring out that I am his ticket out of the cage. Of course he tried to jump off my shoulder as soon as I got remotely near the "play zone" This is currently my bathroom, but it will become my spare room as soon as I make it rat proof. Since I no longer have any obligations besides work, I'm going to start sitting with them when they are out. One of these days they might decide I'm nice enough to be part of their little cliche... we shall see.

I'm to tired to write anything to intelligent, so that is all for now. Assuming anyone even reads this...

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

I posted this post, with that title, in honor of all bloggers who try and get the first post. I am a fan of a few different blogs that I spend time reading. So, I think to myself, why only take from the world when I can give? Why only read a blog when you can write one yourself? Of course in reality I have written bits of blog all over the internet... Now I will try and write them all in one place, yay! I am even going to send the link to this site to people I know in real life. I probably shouldn't, cause in a year (or less) they will probably read something that will result in some priests showing up at my house with holy water and a large cross.

So, today I am standing group duty for my job, sitting at the base all night just in case a terrorist decides to jump the fence and blow up the building, I can alert somebody. I don't have any law enforcement qualifications, so there is not much else I can do. I could attempt to pull one of the few law enforcement moves that I know on him or her and delay the bombing process since they would be rolling on the ground laughing at me. At the this current time the other watchstander is actually looking for the terrorist. So I am able to maintain my vigil in front of a computer typing on a blog.

There is not much else happening at this current moment. There are a lot of things that could happen. I could go to IT school before I turn 50 (for you non coastwise that is Information Technictian school), I might even end up living in the same state as my boyfriend! That would be great, especially if it happened before I become a 51 year old IT.

Currently though, what needs to be happening is my homework. Only 3 more days left of my college class and I will be done. I will be so happy I'll probably secrete something out of a gland or two. As long as its not something green and glowing I should be fine. I'd celebrate by wondering the bars until I find someone I feel vaguely associated with and attaching myself to them via the invisible entourage cord, but I am also on MSO cell phone duty this week. I also don't need another restraining order....